Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dear Moe: A note on self-defense

So I was thinking today about all the wonderful aspects of being a mom to a boy. (If the ultrasound had gone the other way, I'd be thinking about all the wonderful aspects of being a mom to a girl.)

And of course I thought about how I'll eventually ask Uncle Ted to teach you how to defend yourself. And how someday we may enroll you in a martial arts class - not just for self-defense, but for the self-discipline that comes with that. Which of course got me thinking about fighting.

So here's the deal.

Don't EVER be the person who throws the first punch - even if someone says something about your mother. But, if someone else starts a fight, I sure want you to be able to finish it.

Having said that, just because someone throws a punch doesn't mean you have to reciprocate. It's about making choices. No matter what the situation, if you throw a punch at someone, there are going to be consequences. If you're in school, you could be suspended. If you're older, there could be a police report and charges laid. At the very least, the person could have a really big friend bent on revenge. There is no participation in a fight that doesn't come with some kind of consequence. Some of those consequences are more obvious than others.

You need to decide - and quickly, often in the split seconds as that fist comes toward your jaw - if your participation is worth the consequence. There will definitely be times that it just isn't worth it. But sometimes it may very well be. Consider why you are fighting, consider what you are fighting for.

It's the decisions that you make in determining whether or not it's worth it that then determine your character.

You may not always make the right decision. But be sure to learn from every decision you make.

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