Dear Moe (4 Weeks / 1 Month)

Hello, sweetheart. It's hard to believe that you are already one month old. It seems like just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital. You're doing really, really well - nursing like a rock star and generally being adorable at every opportunity.

When I brought you to the Well Baby Clinic this week, they would have been very happy to see you gain between 4 and 6 oz. You had gained 13! So you now tip the scales at 7lbs 13oz, and are outgrowing your clothes at an alarming rate. We've put away your polar bear fleecy sleeper and broken out the 3-6 month duckie version. You look longer and rounder and generally delicious.

You generally seem pretty content, except for about an hour after you eat. Due to your stubborn refusal to burp, you end up with some rather painful gas. I'm not sure what more I can do to get you to burp, short of standing you on your head. (I won't do that, don't worry, sweetie.) Occasionally, I can coax a burp out of you, but it doesn't happen very often. And if I don't, sure enough, an hour later, you are root-toot-tooting along. I have found that giving you a soother during those times helps us both get through them.

In an effort to teach you the difference between night and day, I have you sleep upstairs in your bassinet only at night; otherwise, you're downstairs in your little cot. And I only cover you with a blanket and play soft music at night. Hopefully you'll eventually pick up on these cues and learn that at night, you should be down for the long haul. :)

Your eyes are getting brighter and more alert, and you love looking at the lights. You still get the hiccups about once a day. You make the cutest little faces.

We went out on Wednesday and bought you a stroller, and we got what I think is an awesome one. You and Granny and I took it out for a test drive yesterday, and it went very well. We walked to the community centre and back. Today, we might walk to the bank, except it isn't as warm out as it was yesterday, so we'll see.

You had a very nice week with your Tio and Tia and Cousin Isabel visiting next door. You were held and chattered to and generally showered with love. It was great fun to have them meet you. Everyone fell head over heels in love with you.

The quest for a routine is going well. It's still working pretty well to have us nap in the morning and get out and do things in the afternoon. Mind you, you nap through the afternoon, too. :) You're still sleeping most of the time, but I don't worry because you do wake yourself up to feed.

You're getting better and better at holding your head up for short amounts of time. I think next week, we can start doing some tummy time! I hope you'll grow to like that, my darling.

The most exciting news this week, though, is that tomorrow your Daddy starts four weeks at home with us! He's headed to Boston for five days at the end of next week, but then he's all ours for the three weeks after that. We're both really looking forward to his time off - we'll go on all kinds of adventures together! It's going to be a wonderful, very special time.

Sweetheart, I don't think there are words to tell you how awesome you are. You're sweet and cuddly and adorable and wonderful and we are just loving getting to know you. Keep being such a sweetie, and keep soaking up our love. You're simply amazing.

Dear Moe (3 Weeks)

Wow, you're three weeks old already! You've made some great strides this week, little man. You're now wearing size 1 diapers (graduating from the newborn size), you are nursing like a champ, and for the most part you sleep really well. (You're a bit of a Houdini when it comes to unswaddling yourself, and then you panic and cry because your arms flail involuntarily.)

I brought you to the City of Ottawa Well Baby Clinic on Thursday and you are now 7lbs, which is great. Your face is definitely getting chubbier, too. Your cheeks are ridiculously kissable. You've been strictly on the breast for a few days now - no more bottles for you. You get such bad gas when you drink from a bottle that I think we will all be happier without them for a while yet. I still try and pump once a day, if I can.

Your moments of being alert and awake are increasing, and you are just adorable when you look at us with your sweet little eyes. I've noticed that those eyes are getting better and better at moving together, which is great, too.

We're getting into a semblance of a routine, which is also very good. In the morning, you and I nap together, and then around lunch time at your next nap, I get to take a shower and get a few things done. In the afternoon, we try and do something - whether it's go outside for a walk, have a visit from a friend, got to an appointment, or run an errand. Today we're going to try and go to Canadian Tire to pick up a furnace filter - such is the exciting and cosmopolitan life we lead, little Moe! :)

You are still enjoying your bath, and I'm getting more and more confident about giving them to you. You're due for one today or tomorrow, and I'm not dreading it the way I was that first week. Besides, you smell so good after a bath, and you're all warm and cozy and clean! I just love smelling your head.

Your aunt, uncle and cousin from Toronto are coming to visit this week - it will be really wonderful for them to meet you.

Keep being such a wonderful, sweet and adorable pigeon. We love you so much. I'd tell you to keep growing, but you'll do that anyway, and frankly, you are so lovely and tiny that I wouldn't mind if you stayed this size a while. But you won't, will you? And then we'll love you just as much at the next stage. xoxo

Choices

Right now, it's all about making choices. I have these small windows and I have to choose what to do with them. Do I eat? Do I shower? Do I pump? What about peeing? Do I sleep? Wash those bottles in the sink? Pick up those papers over there? Small windows.

Also, I'm desperately trying to get through a book called The Baby Whisperer, which has lots of tips that will help us, but I haven't had much time to sit around and read. I was counting on a bit more leave time to get organized before his arrival. I find myself saying, "Yes, well, he's three weeks early" a lot. Much like Dante in Clerks, he's not even supposed to be here today.

There are also the (even smaller) windows when he's awake. Do we take this opportunity for a bath? Some tummy time on the floor? A walk outside? Should we do skin to skin? A few people have said I should lay him out in the sun. How am I supposed to do all those things with so few little windows? It's easy to make suggestions, but harder to put them into practice.

But we're both getting the hang of this together, he and I.

My back is still pretty sore, and I'm still taking ibuprofen to help with that and the occasional cramping. I'm going to try and make an appointment for a post-partum massage for Bundy's next day off.

I've managed to shower every day since he's been home, I think. I also try and get a nap in, if possible. We also try and get outside every day. I wish I were doing more skin to skin, but the house is on the chilly side and I haven't been able to time it right with when the sun comes in through the patio doors and hits the couch. Also, there's only so many of those little windows.

But although this isn't easy, it's also amazing and wonderful at the same time. I'm so in love with his little face, his gorgeous eyes, and his increasingly chubby cheeks. I'm learning to watch and listen when he cries instead of just swooping in to pick him up. I will eventually teach him to soothe himself to sleep (see book above - there are two more I need to read on that subject, too, apparently - jeebus), but right now, we're just doing the best we can. And overall, it's going well.

I'm pretty proud of myself, though. In the two weeks since he's been here, I've gotten his birth certificate, his SIN card, and done and filed our taxes. Tomorrow, Bundy is off and we're going on an adventure to Babies R Us to look at strollers. My dad has offered to buy us one, and we need to do some recon.

My to do list is still pretty long, but I'll get through it eventually. After all, he's never going to be this small again. And I want to treasure every minute of this.

Dear Moe (2 Weeks)

Hello, darling. It hasn't been easy to find time to write you letters, but it isn't because I don't care. It's because I'm busy taking care of you! It's hard to believe it's been two weeks already with you in our lives - in some ways, it feels like you've always been here, and in others it all feels very shiny and new.

You've started trying to lift your head, which is adorable to see. You have very strong legs and arms, and your suck is also very powerful! You're a strong little lad, and it is wonderful to watch you try and get stronger.

When we first brought you home, you slept all the time. In fact, it was often a challenge to get you to wake up enough to nurse. You still sleep a lot, but you are able to wake yourself to let us know you are hungry. And sometimes you don't want to fall asleep at all, even though you are very tired. You've had a couple of attacks of gas pains, which have been harrowing on all of us, but are overall a very sweet little guy with a wonderful disposition.

There is also nothing wrong with your ability to poop. Holy cow. There have been a few times where you go through three diapers in one change. Yikes! We call those "thunderpoops".

I try and get outside with you once a day, especially since the weather has been so lovely the last few days. It's been sunny and getting milder. We typically just go for a little walk around the block and check the mail. I'm looking forward to spring being here when we can spend more time outside together. When we go outside, I put you in your wrap. It works well, but I think we'll try the Baby Bjorn soon, as the wrap can make my back kind of sore after a while.

You don't mind the bath, if you can believe it. You wail for a moment when I put you in, but you settle right down very quickly. The bathtub we bought for you is just too big right now, so I've been bathing you in an old roasting pan. It sounds funny, but it's just the right size for you! And it fits on the bathroom counter, so my back doesn't hurt when I bathe you. You're due for a bath today - I hope you still enjoy it.

You are still getting the hang of nursing, but improving every day. You tend to fall asleep at the boob, so I have to pump your arm a little bit or blow gently in your face. (Sorry about that.) We do occasionally give you a bottle - maybe once or twice a day. And I'm still trying to pump a few times a day, too, but it's becoming less crucial since you're nursing so much better.

Your furry brother, as we call him, tends to approach you with a combination of reverence and trepidation. He has given you a head-butt of love once, and tends to meow at us when you are crying, as though he wants to say, "What are you DOING to my baby?" But he has never gotten into your bassinet while you're in it, and generally stays out of it even when you're not.

Daddy's been back at work for a week and a half, but he hurries home in the evening to see you. He's so amazing, Moe. You have no idea how much he loves you. And he takes very good care of us - he sterilizes your bottles and pump attachments, he cooks for us, and he is generally supportive and awesome. Granny has also been here every day, keeping up with the laundry and the dishes, which has been so helpful.

Well, little man, I'm going to sign off. You're sleeping upstairs right now, but I'm not sure how much longer I have before you wake up. Keep growing (but not too fast! you already outgrew the little Pooh hat with ears that you wore in the hospital, and you can't wear your little sleep sack anymore either!) and I hope you can tell how much we love you. I only tell you a few hundred times a day. :)