An email from Janine

Got this email from my darling Janine, which was her way of saying that I'm in her thoughts, without actually saying it like a Hallmark card. I thought I'd share it because it made me laugh.

I realize you're going to be playing your cards pretty close to your chest about the IVF and donor eggs and such. If that's how you gotta play it, that's the way you gotta play it. BUT KNOW THIS!! *strikes a noble pose* I am impossibly curious and interested.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "now she's gonna say that she's there for me if I need her" and NO, I was not going to say that, although I did say that just to say that I'm not going to say that. I am NOT here for you with, like, *just the right thing* to make you feel better. I don't got a panda that corresponds to the emotions related to IVF and donor eggs.

No, Yumi, I am not "here for you", but rather, I am always on the end of a phone line READY TO LISTEN WITH GREAT INTEREST. Yes, that's right, lots of interest.

So you'll be out there, in clinics, with your friends and family, you'll be doing what you gotta do. And I just want you to know that I am going to be sitting idly by in my office or at home, feeling like I'm going to DIE OF CURIOUSITY. Mark will recognize the symptoms. I will wander from room to room, picking things up and putting things down.

This random activity will serve no purpose. If Mark tries to read, I will bat at the paperback until he finds a hard cover to beat me with.

I will complain that I am hungry, but that there is nothing to eat. I will insist on putting on the TV, but I will not be able to focus on the TV.

I will watch Fashion File upside down, so that it looks like I'm watching videos of icicles walking around on a black ceiling. I will complain about my body image.

I will fold clothes.

I will drop the clothes and they will unfold.

I will kick the clothes around in anger.

I will stomp off.

Mark will wonder why I've just ruined his laundry.

I will try new things, like brushing my teeth while I shower. Mark will listen with concern as I spit out Head & Shoulder Extreme Dandruff Control and then scream for help to get the Colgate outta my bangs.

I will try to learn five new skills at once. This will result in macraméd origami knitting needles in a red wine reduction served up on a bed of yoga.

I may dye my hair.

I won't like it, but I'll try it, and then I'll verbally abuse the hair dresser when "hot house flower" turns out to be exactly what it showed on the box, which I thought would look completely different on me.

These are the ways I will spend my time.

I felt like I should share, so that ALTHOUGH YOU WILL NEVER SEE THESE THINGS HAPPENING, you will know that I care in a non-invasive way.

...Mark may come to you for some heavy drinks during this time. Please get him drunk and let him sleep over. He'll need it.