Ok, so imagine you have this friend. Except, they aren't even really a friend, more like someone you used to see regularly, out of necessity, but you never really got along. But you learned to live together. Then suddenly one day, they disappear. They are gone from your life - no warning, no explanation. You're having a hard time with something that they could really help you with, but they won't return your calls. You think they may have blocked your email.
You struggle through your hard time without them - you get help from others. It isn't ideal or easy, but you get through it. You figure they are out of your life forever.
And then suddenly, years later, they show up on your doorstep, suitcase in hand. They need a place to stay. You are totally unprepared for their visit - you don't even know where your spare sheets are, you are flabbergasted to see them. And they are the worst possible houseguest. You tell them you already have plans, they insist on tagging along. They start making demands on you, making you physically uncomfortable, they keep you up at night, and you become so irritable around them. You're exhausted. And they refuse to tell you how long they are staying. The visit seems to last forever. They make you incredibly uncomfortable, you're so hurt by them that you're near tears.
Finally, you wake up one morning and they're gone. They've left a note. It says, "I'll be back again in a year, maybe 18 months. Can't be sure. See you then. You seem tired - maybe you should eat some steak."
This, ladies and gentlemen, is my relationship with my period. She's a total bitch. Just when I've forgotten about her, she shows up again, and she kicks my ass.
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