It’s a Japanese Thing

I wrote this for Diversity Week at work, and thought I'd share it here, too.

My mother grew up in Kyoto, Japan, and my father grew up in Montreal West. My mom came to North America in 1969. For a long time, I didn’t think I was terribly connected to my Japanese heritage. But I have found that cultural heritage isn’t something with which you deliberately connect - it’s more something that kind of seeps into your life. And now that I think about it, my Japanese heritage has done just that.

My kitchen is full of Japanese things. For example, both my sister and I have a suribachi in our kitchens. It’s a special grooved bowl used for grinding things. We use it mainly for sesame seeds, and we can’t live without it. It is, we explain, a Japanese thing. Which is what we also say when people ask about the chopstick we keep by our toasters. We use chopsticks all the time – for cooking, eating, and fishing toast out of the toaster.

When we got married, I wanted to include some kind of acknowledgement of my Japanese heritage into the event. So I totally lost my mind and folded 1000 origami paper cranes, which served as decorations. (Full disclosure – I got help from friends.)  “Why on earth are you doing that?” people asked. “It’s a Japanese thing,” I’d explain.

There’s something extra comforting about Japanese rice. It’s warm and sticky and reminds me of dinners at home with my mom. And I’m happiest when I can put furikake on it. Furikake is a dry Japanese condiment that has been used to entice generations of Japanese kids to eat their rice. I’m 33 and I still love it. When my husband was reluctant to let me put it on Moe's rice, because he didn’t want him to become “furikake dependent” like his mother, I said, “Too bad. It’s a Japanese thing.”

Every December, we attend the Mochitsuki, a traditional Japanese rice-pounding festival. We have attended the one organized by the Ottawa Japanese Community Association and Cultural Centre for years. (Ironically, it’s always held at an Italian soccer club.)  We really enjoy bringing our friends to give them a taste of Japan – both the food (mochi, udon soup, sushi) and the culture (music and dance, taiko drumming). It’s a Japanese thing, we tell them.

This past December, we brought Moe to the Mochitsuki. He’d come with us the year before, but was just a tiny baby in a baby carrier. This was the first year that he could really take it all in. We all had a wonderful time, and I was surprised by how emotional I was watching him experience his Granny’s culture in this huge community setting. It was pretty magical.

I’m look forward to introducing him to lots of Japanese things.

I Have a Toddler

This is the answer I give most frequently to questions people ask me.

"Why are your jacket pockets filled with used Kleenex?"
"Why is there a Hot Wheels in your purse?"
"Why on earth would you spend $10.00 on green seedless grapes in January?"

I have a toddler.

"How is it that at least one member of your family has had a runny nose since September?"
"Why on earth would you have to hide in the kitchen to eat something?"
"Wait, you go to bed at 9pm?"

I have a toddler.

But I also know the exquisite feeling of being the only person on the planet capable of consoling someone. And I have felt the sense of accomplishment that comes with teaching a child how to calm himself down. And I know how fantastic it is when a small person who does not do anything he doesn't want to do suddenly and spontaneously gives you a hug.

Because I have a toddler.

Dear Moe (22 Months)

Christmas is just around the corner, my love, and I’ve been so busy getting ready that your letter is a few days late. But you are 22 months old now, and it’s been a wonderful month.

I know that next month, your letter will be full of how much you enjoyed Christmas, but the preparations and anticipation have been so much fun with you. We have a wonderful wooden advent calendar that we’ve been enjoying. Every day, you ask us to take it down from the mantle and you open a little door and I take out a tiny little wooden ornament that we hang on the little wooden tree. It took a few days for you to understand that we only open one door, once a day, until Christmas. That’s our mantra now, and you have no problems accepting it. But we'll see what happens December 25 when you're out of doors!

Santa also sent you a video message through Portable North Pole, and you absolutely loved it. Santa said your name, had photos of you in his big book, and knew that you’d worked very hard this year to always listen to your parents. He confirmed, through a fantastic machine run by his elves, that you are indeed on the “nice” list. You have enjoyed watching that video every day since Santa sent it.

I also did something crazy and baked cookies for us to decorate. (There is no doubt that I love you, my sweet boy. I don’t attempt to operate an oven for just anyone.) You had a great time decorating the cookies with icing and sprinkles, but you voiced your rather negative opinion of my culinary skills. Aunt Janine and Uncle Mark were over, and Janine asked you, as you munched thoughtfully on your gorgeous cookie artwork, “Is that a good cookie?” You turned it over, looked at the rather burned bottom, shook your head and said, “Nuh-uh.” Thanks, baby.

Last Christmas, while lovely because it was your first, was hard for me because I was weaning you and was very hormonal and emotional. This Christmas, you are making the anticipation and wonder and magic so real, and I love you for it so much.

You are very playful and fun. You love to play the “whoa” game, which started at day care with Robin’s oldest son, Noah. All you had to do was tap his chest gently, and he’d fall backwards, saying, “WHOA!” Now we play this at home. You love to “push” us over, and sometimes we pull you with us. You love wrestling on the cushion in the living room. We had to make sure you understood that Granny, who was recovering from eye surgery this month, was off limits for the “whoa” game. That took some time.

You still love your bath, but you have started crying whenever we have to do the “business” part where I wash your hair, face and body. You’d much rather be left to play and resent that when I’m washing you, you can’t do what you like. When you’re not resisting being washed, you enjoy playing with your colour-changer hot wheels (I give you a container of cold, cold water to dunk them in), you like pouring water from one container to another, and playing with your watering can. (Once it got too cold to play at the water table, I brought all your water toys to the bath tub!)

We have had some lovely outings this month, as usual. We had a fantastic playdate with your buddy Koen. It’s wonderful to bring you there – you are so at ease, and you and Koen really like playing together. They have some awesome toys, and Mommy and Jen are good, relaxing influences on each other. It’s great for all concerned.

We brought you to the annual Mochitsuki – your second time! Last year, you were mostly in the Baby Bjorn, but this time you had a ball at the kids’ craft table. The Magoos joined us this year, which was especially lovely. You and buddies Mistlegoo and Trick walked around the banquet hall by yourselves (they took very good care of you, even if Granny was freaking out at the independence I was giving all of you), you enjoyed the food, you watched the rice pounding, and loved the colouring table. It was a great experience for everyone. We really can take you anywhere.

We’ve had several visits to Grandpa Reg on Saturday mornings. We show up, play in his room for 45 minutes or so, and then we drive him to the Perley to visit Joan. You love playing with the extra (unplugged) telephone he has, and we always bring your little green tote bag of toys. We call it your bag of tricks. I pack it the night before, so you never know what you might find in there. Having said that, you can always count on there being crayons. You love to colour in your steno notebook (nice thick pages that resist tearing when they get wet with drool). Robin notes that while the other kids tend to stick with one colour, you use them all.

Another Saturday tradition is our walk with Uncle Mark, Aunt Janine and Zaphod. We walk around their neighbourhood without a stroller now, and while you enjoy it very much, we often have some conflict about staying between me and the curb. Luckily, the streets aren’t busy, and there are lots of little pedestrian pathways we can explore. At home, you often resist holding my hand when we cross our street, and that results in a bit of a meltdown because it’s non-negotiable. I love being outside with you, but I sometimes dread the power struggles. You don’t understand why you can’t roam freely down the middle of the street.

Mealtime at home with you is still interesting, but overall, you do really well. You can feed yourself pretty much anything, including soup and fruit sauce. You even stack your dishes to let us know when you’re done eating! You sit in a booster seat now, instead of a high chair. You drink from a cup at the table, instead of a sippy. You’re growing so quickly. Sometimes, you are so impatient to get your food, though. You holler for it from the dining room, and Daddy says he feels like he’s on a crazy cooking show called Iron Daddy. We often tell you, “Just be patient! Just hang on!”, but words like this are lost on a toddler.

You’re such a helpful little boy. You are fantastic at putting away your toys, and you bring me your snack dishes when you’re done with them. If we ask you to put something in the laundry hamper, you do it happily. We’re enjoying this wonderful stage while it lasts. :)

The words are coming fast and furious, too! One Sunday a few weeks ago, it was like something clicked in your head. The two of us were on our own that day, and I had no witnesses, but you said “animal crackers,” “please,” “thank you,” “be right back,” “cheese”, “milk” and “snuggles”. I was flabbergasted. And now you say many of those things regularly. Robin reports that you are really verbal at day care, and we’ve noticed it at home, too. Even if we don’t know what you are saying all the time, it’s clear you’re talking and have things to say. Although, you often say “no” or don’t say anything at all when you mean “yes”, and that can be frustrating.

One really funny thing happened this month. More and more often, you’re awake when I leave the house in the morning. One morning, you clearly didn’t want me to leave. But instead of whining or crying, you sat in my lap, stroked my hair and cheek, snuggled me gently and gave me lots of hugs. After a few minutes (during which my heart was melting – you’re so sneaky!) I told you it was time for me to go. You stood up, grabbed my lunch bag, and ran away with it into the living room. Sometimes, you are just way too smart.

You are so loved at Robin’s, it’s hilarious. When Daddy drops you off in the morning, all the kids wave and say hi, and Alex is usually trying to get your boots and snowsuit off before Daddy has even put you down. They just can’t wait to start playtime with you. You all hit a playgroup every morning, and you love the gym time at Featherston. You and Alex ride the plasma car together. You’re getting very good at circle and story time. One day last week, they bought in musical instruments for everyone to try, and you had a blast. The other day, Robin took you to Alex’s school Christmas pageant, and you clapped after every song.

We’ve introduced you to some Sesame Street, including, most recently, some classic videos on Youtube. You love Grover’s “Around, Over, Under and Through” and “Near and Far”. There was also a sketch of him falling off a camel that had you killing yourself laughing. It was great to see.

You are so much fun. I don’t think we could love you more… and then suddenly, we do. Even with the stubborn-two-year-old-impatient-independence thing going on, you’re amazing and snugly and sweet and funny and I don’t think you’ll ever really understand how wonderful it is for us to have you in our lives. Thanks for being so awesome, Pookie. 

Dear Moe (21 Months)

Hi, sweetie. You're 21 months old, and I can’t get over how awesome you are.

Your speech is developing slowly but surely – your words are getting clearer and clearer. It’s just a matter of getting you to say them. You dislike being coached in anything, so you really need to be totally engaged before you’ll take that extra step and say a word. If we ask you, “Can you say (insert word here)?” the answer is always a firm “NO”. (That’s one word you have no problems with, by the way.) But you’ve said “Lightning McQueen”, “Blue Lighting”, “Cookie”, and “Yogu(rt)”. (You also love to say “Blech!”, which can be discouraging if it is in relation to a meal I have just put in front of you.)

You are very independent, and things have to be your idea for you to do them. We used to look at your Big Book of 300 Things, and I could ask you, “Where’s the (insert word here)?” and you’d happily find it for me and point to it. But now you want to do the pointing and you want me to say the words. I’m trying to find a compromise because I’d really like you to say the words, too!

You do love to sing. You sing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, Twinkle, Twinkle, The Alphabet Song, and The Wheels on the Bus. You do the hand gestures where appropriate. It’s very sweet to hear you singing to yourself – you carry a tune well, so we always know which song you’re singing!

You give wonderful hugs. You always have a hug for Matisse and Alex at day care, and when we visited Aunty Kimmy and the boys, you happily gave Noah a hug, too. That was a lovely visit for everyone – you loved playing with the big boys, and they kept offering to give you all their toys! If I hadn’t stopped it, you might have come home with a dozen new cars. They are so generous.

We had a great Halloween together, little man. We worked very hard on getting you used to your costume, and you embraced it fully for an evening of trick or treating. We did a few houses on our street, visited Grandma’s house, and then went to Uncle Mark and Aunt Janine’s where Aunt Janine took you to see her neighbours. Everybody loved your costume and you were the sweetest turtle I have ever seen. You did so very well, not protesting at all about the shell or the head cover. Granny, who worked very hard at making your costume, was very gratified. She felt it was well worth all her hard work.

We had some other lovely outings this month. You and I hit Parliament Hill with our friend Jane and her partner Brutus. You loved exploring on your own, and especially enjoyed climbing up and down the stairs at the Summer Pavilion. We have visited Grandpa Reg twice in his new digs. You behave very well there, although you are fascinated with his clock and his waste paper basket. Daddy and I both had a day off with you on a Monday a few weeks ago, so after a haircut, we took you to the Aviation and Space Museum. You enjoyed playing in the children’s studio and loved the play structure behind the museum. We liked it, too, because it was just the right size for you and very clean. It was also a lovely day, so you were able to play out there for as long as you wanted without getting cold. Granny and I took you to the Science and Technology Museum yesterday, and you had a nice time there, too. You liked riding in the antique car and walking through the digital network tunnels.

It hasn’t been all smiles, unfortunately. You took a pretty bad fall in Robin’s driveway a week or two ago and landed right on your face. You bit into your lower lip very hard, scraped your chin, bruised your cheek, and rattled your two front teeth. Your lip was bleeding on and off for a couple of days, and I can still see two white marks inside your lower lip where the teeth went through. You also caught another cold (you and Daddy both had it – only Daddy’s turned into strep throat!) at the beginning of the month, and right now you’re recovering from what we hope is a 24-hour stomach flu. That last one made for a long Lysol-filled day. Phew.

But through it all you are sweet and kind and loving. You share your snacks freely, you are generous with hugs, you wave and blow kisses to say goodbye. I spent a day or two in Waterloo at the start of the month for work (and to visit Aunt Marsha and Uncle Gavin), and I missed you so much. I missed the way you put your arms around my neck and rest your head on my shoulder. I missed the way you keep pressing the bathtub drain closed when we try and let the water out of the tub at the end of your bath. I missed the way you guffaw when Daddy kisses your belly. I missed the way you immediately start to dance when I sing “Mommy Loves Moe”.

You love your ride-on toy. You ride it everywhere around the house, from room to room. You still love playing with your cars, but lately you’ve found a new way to play with them. You love to balance things on other things. Cars on each other, a block on a car, a car on a train… you shout in triumph when you can get it to stay. It’s fantastic. You’ve really gotten the hang of your shape sorting blocks in the last week – you hardly need any prompting to find the right shaped hole. For the most part, you’re an excellent listener… unless we’re outside. You really don’t like being told what direction to walk in, and your hearing becomes very selective if I ask you to walk a different way. But overall, you do listen well, as long as it’s in line with your goals. :)

Let me tell you a bit about your Aunt Janine and Uncle Mark. Oh my goodness, you love them so much. You see them pretty much every weekend, and you smile whenever we mention their names. You give hugs freely to them, they make you laugh, and you love your doggy Zaphod. And honey, they love you, too. It is so wonderful that we’re continuing the tradition of “chosen family”. They are so proud to be your aunt and uncle.

We’re watching less Curious George these days, because we noticed that you were starting to express yourself a lot like George! Although it’s wonderful that you can communicate so well non-verbally (it certainly makes things easier for us and for Robin), we do want you to speak with words. So we only watch Curious George before bed. We’ve introduced you to Sesame Street, although we turn off the episode when Elmo’s World comes on because Elmo makes Mommy and Daddy kind of stabby. You also enjoy most episodes of Mighty Machines, and still like the Backyardigans.

Pookie, we love you so much. You can be exhausting, stubborn and mercurial, but more than anything, you are FUN. You make us laugh, you have a great sense of humour, you are loving and kind, you adore exploring, you yearn to do everything yourself, and you still have the best freaking eyebrows I have ever seen on a toddler. We love you. Keep developing into the wonderful little boy you are.

Dear Moe (20 Months)

Hello, my darling. You’ve had another very busy month - I almost don’t know where to begin.

We have greatly enjoyed the changing of the seasons. Fall has brought us your footie pajamas, the joy of gathering choke cherries and dropping them one by one down a sewer grate, picking up leaves and stowing them in the bottom of the stroller, and your complete and total refusal to wear a hat. It brought us a wonderful morning at the Farmer’s Market, lots of time walking outside and exploring, and two little pumpkins that sit on our front step. You say hello and goodbye to them every time you pass them. Granny has been working furiously on your Halloween costume, and it looks fantastic. We just have to get you to wear it! You love how soft it is, and you like cuddling it, but we haven’t gotten you INTO it yet. It will come. You’re going to be a turtle.

You have become so much chattier this past month. We know you’re speaking in full sentences, we just don’t know what they are yet. You have learned to hoot like an owl, roar like a dragon (like in The Paperbag Princess, when the dragon burns down 50 forests), and so also say “Lightning” for Lightning McQueen (although it sounds more like “Ning”.) Robin even reports that you have said “yucky” to tell her that you have a dirty diaper. And you have the best new babble ever - you say, “jubba jubba jubba jubba”.

Yes, let’s talk about Lightning McQueen. Months and months ago, your Grandma bought you a little Lightning McQueen matchbox style car. In the last month, you have suddenly adopted this car as your security blanket. You always like to walk around with a car in your hand, but more and more you have shown your preference for Mr. McQueen. I have to admit that he’s a pretty swanky car, and he has eyes, so maybe that’s the attraction. (The only other exposure you’ve had to him is sitting in the Lightning McQueen car at Chiquicuts when you get your hair cut.) Bathtime isn’t any fun without him, and you’ve taken to sleeping with him in your crib now. (We are drawing a line at ONE car in bed - I don’t need your crib to turn into a parking lot, with cars hitting the floor throughout the night.) We didn’t intend to let you bring cars into bed with you, but one day Granny was putting you down for a nap and she couldn’t pry him out of your hand! You slept three hours that afternoon. We now have two Lightning McQueens, and one more tucked away in the closet in case of emergency.

You are definitely almost two. You want independence like it’s a drug. You love to climb things (we frequently have to remind you that couches are for sitting), you want to do everything yourself, and you get very, very frustrated when that doesn’t work out for you. But you are slowly learning patience (if you’re not too tired). We have had some epic meltdowns, and Daddy and I know there will be more. But we do our best to calm you down (often, you’re just overwhelmed by your own crying), or at the very least, pick you up off the sidewalk before you hurt yourself. Sometimes, you just get really excited, and when that happens, you tend to start throwing things. You find this hilarious. We’re really trying to curb you of this, especially since you pegged one of the little girls from day care in the eye with a puzzle piece.

You still love your bath. For some reason, you recently decided that you were done with this business of always standing in the bath, and now you only sit and refuse to stand to let me wash your bum. So Daddy has to lift you up, which you love because you can kick at the water. We have a deal that you can stay in the tub until the water in gone, and you really won’t get out until the bitter, bitter end. You also know how to close the drain once we’ve opened it to let the water out. You show us that there is still water in the tub by splashing your hands in it, even if it’s the shallowest puddle. It’s lovely that you love your bath so much.

You also love going to Robin’s. You come home zonked and dirty and very happy. One of the things we love about Robin is that she writes us these daily reports that tell us all about what you did that day. Her comments about your development are fantastic - for the most part, they confirm what we already know. Here are a few examples:

“Moe is wonderfully enthusiastic and responds so readily to everything he sees around him. He is very curious about how things work.”
“Moe is very easy to care for. He is naturally easygoing and listens beautifully. He is not fearful and seems willing to take physical risks, climbing and exploring and seems quite engaged with the other children in day care.”
“Moe loves to examine each puzzle piece and is careful with putting them back in their places. He is a methodical child. He organized bunches of crayons in groups (he tried drawing on the chairs).”
“Moe is perhaps the most insatiably curious boy I have ever met.”
“Moe’s sense of humour is very developed!”

We’ve had some wonderful fun this month. We had a great morning at the Farmer’s Market with JD and Evan. Our walk with Zaphod and Uncle Mark and Aunt Janine has become something of a Saturday morning tradition now. We went for a great walk in the Arboretum. You had a lovely play date with your buddy Koen - it was doubly fantastic because we got to hang out with his parents, who we love. We can pretty much take you anywhere as long as we respect your limits and listen to your needs.

I spent three days in Brockville at the start of October for a course. Before I left, I recorded a little video of myself singing our song, “Mommy Loves Moe.” Daddy played it for you six times that first night, feels it helped you cope with the separation. You still ask for the video now.

When I got home from Brockville, it was just in time. I hadn’t been home a full day when you came down with a terrible fever. It was an ear infection. You had only just gotten over the one you had in September. Moe, it was so sad to see you suffering. The fever gave us one very tense night. Your whole body was so warm, and you were trembling with the chills from the fever, and at one point your lips were even blueish. But we nursed you through it over the course of one long, exhausting Thanksgiving weekend. We had to cancel our plans to go to Toronto to visit Tia and Tio, and it’s a good thing we did. You had a bad reaction to this round of antibiotics, and were a miserable little boy for a good many days. The infection affected your balance really badly, and it was very hard to see you struggling to keep upright, or crying in frustration when you couldn’t stand up from sitting. When you developed a rash, we took you to the doctor again and she gave you a new prescription. You tolerated that one much better, and are now totally back to your normal wonderful self. Over the course of that weekend, we took you to the doctor twice, called Telehealth twice and brought you to two walk-in clinics (only to leave because of wait times). We’re all glad that’s behind us.

There’s a new toy in the house that has been a great success. We bought you a little push car off of Kijiji. You can sit on it and use the steering wheel while powering it with your feet, or stand behind it and push. You love it. Come spring, we’ll get you another to keep inside the house and this one can go outside. You’ve become very adept at steering it, and are proud of how easily you get on and off.

Your letter this month is a little late because we had such a wonderful weekend together. Today was especially fantastic. We met Grandpa and Debi for breakfast at O’Grady’s, where you flirted with the waitress and with Debi. Then we headed to Jen and Albert’s for your play date with Koen. We all had a wonderful time and left feeling like we’d had a mini-vacation. After your nap, Granny and Grandma both came over and you were showered with love. And you ate a good dinner and went to bed without issue, snuggled up with Leary the Otter and Lightning McQueen.

I know the next months won’t always be easy as you navigate the waters of what you can and can’t do. But it’s never hard to remember how incredibly lucky we are. You are so very easy to love, Moe. We can’t imagine life without you, nor would we want to. Keep being so full of awesome.

Dear Moe (19 Months)

Oh, sweet little boy, what a crazy month it’s been. You started day care, you got a cold (which turned into an ear infection), you have a mouthful of new teeth, and you fell down the stairs from the back deck. It’s been a challenging time, to say the least, and you’ve weathered the storm with great patience.

The biggest change has certainly been day care. We did a three-day transition over a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday; on the Friday you did almost a full day. It was not easy for anyone involved. It broke our hearts to leave you there, sobbing and reaching for us, and when I picked you up on that first day, after only a few hours, I found you red-eyed and weepy. For the rest of the day, and much of the weekend, you were incredibly clingy and didn’t want me out of your sight. It seemed for a while that you were only happy sitting in my lap. (You even got miffed if I’d uncross my legs because then you’d be on the floor and not on me.) Your sleep also really suffered.

The second week went much better. You did three full days, and when Daddy dropped you off on the third day, you toddled off to play with the cars without so much as a backwards glance. When we pick you up, you are generally filthy, tired and happy. We couldn’t ask for more. You’ve bonded well with R and the other kids, and when we ask you in the morning, “We’re going to go to R’s today, ok?” you nod with enthusiasm and say, “Yeah!”

Of course, the transition took its toll on all of us, despite it going as well as could be expected. Your little brain was so busy processing everything (including a daytime schedule that involved a busy playgroup, a whole new environment, and new people) that it wasn’t surprising when you got a runny nose. Your eczema also got worse, but you recovered from that pretty quickly. The runny nose came with a ridiculous amount of drool, so we figured you were teething, and you were. But then you got a fever that just wouldn’t quit, and you became miserable and listless. I knew something was wrong when you sat down in the bathtub. You haven’t sat down in the tub since you’ve been able to stand on your own. We brought you to the doctor and found out you had an ear infection. This is your second day on antibiotics. We see an improvement already - this evening you were almost back to your wonderful, laughing self. Now if we could just get you back to sleeping through the night...

Despite everything, we’re really happy with R as your day care provider. She’s warm and loving, and keeps you very busy. Right now, you’re there with B (2 years old) and M (18 months old), along with A (R’s 5 year old son, who is in afternoon kindergarten). You spend a few hours every morning at a playgroup where you can interact with lots of kids, play with some fantastic toys, and do circle time. You also get park time(where you get yourself happily full of sand), lots of rides in a fantastic 5-person stroller, indoor home play, outdoor home play... the list goes on. You have yet to nap there successfully; I think it will be the last thing that comes. You clearly enjoy yourself when you are there, and that makes us very happy.

Even in the short time you’ve been going to day care (and you’ve only been there three days a week), your communications skills have increased. (For one thing, you can now answer questions in the affirmative, which helps us a LOT.) R noted, as we have, that you love figuring out how things work, and that you have excellent comprehension skills. You know what the words mean, you’re just not saying them. She said you may turn out to be one of those kids who suddenly starts speaking in full sentences. It wouldn’t surprise me one little bit, sweet bean.

Yes, I did mention that you had a fall down some stairs. It was on my watch, and I felt terrible. I had you out on the back deck, but I hadn’t checked that the gate was fastened securely, and it wasn’t. I came inside for 2 seconds to grab something, heard you crying, and came out again to see the gate gone. I have never moved so fast in my life, Moe. And there you were, at the bottom of the stairs, sobbing your heart out. You had a scrape on your forehead, but were mainly badly scared. You recovered after lots of cuddles and some Tylenol. I’m not sure if I’ve recovered yet.

Lots of fun things have happened in the last month, too, sweetie. We have had successful outings to the Farmer’s Market, Chapters, St. Laurent, two museums, and a Greenbelt nature trail near our house. We’ve spent lots of time playing out back in the green space as well as in the driveway and other parts of the condo’s common area. We are constantly amazed at how “portable” you are - we can really take you anywhere. As long as we respect your needs and limits, you do super well.

You still love to dance, and it’s wonderful to watch you. You dance with your whole body. I’ve heard you singing, and reading to yourself. You love books - right now, one of your favourites is The Paperbag Princess by Robert Munch. (You love it when the dragon runs out of fire, and when Elizabeth tells Ronald that he’s a bum.) I bought you Goodnight, Gorilla, and it’s part of our bedtime routine now - you always ask for it. You are also still a huge fan of Mighty Movers, a book that is all about things that go. You’re all about cars and trucks and trains and anything with wheels, really. You love to walk outside and explore. You’re getting much more comfortable with dogs - you love Zaphod, and R has a tiny Lhasa Apso puppy named Pom Pom. I took you on a long walk with Zaphod the other day, and when we were done he stared longingly at you and wouldn’t go into the house until you were safely in the car, and you waved at him beseechingly. It was adorable. You love your doggy, you just wish he’d get close enough to pet without invading your personal space. Sorry, honey, that’s just not how doggies work.

Let’s talk about your relationship with your grandmothers. Oh, my goodness, you are such a lucky boy to have two grandmothers who love you so much and live so close by. They both teach you things, take you on outings, and love you so very much. Grandma is your rowdy playmate. She will chase you, laugh with you, give you plenty of kisses and hugs. Granny is quieter, but you have this amazing connection with her. You have seen her pretty much every day of your life. The day care transition was hard on her, too.

Hopefully the next month is easier on you, darling. (And on us.) We’ll spend this next month getting you used to your new routine, supporting you, reassuring you, and giving you all the love in our hearts. But then, that’s nothing new. You’re so very easy to love, little Moe. Your Daddy and I often stare at each other in disbelief about how lucky we are. We couldn’t ask for a better son. Keep being so fantastic.

Everything You Could Possibly Want to Know About Moe and Probably a Bunch of Stuff You Didn’t

(I sent this email to Moe's new day care provider today. It seemed like something worth keeping, if only to capture what he's like right now.)

I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety about the upcoming transition, and it would make me feel better if I could send you this email all about Moe. It's more for my benefit than for yours - but you can take or leave the information as you see fit. I know he'll do fine, it's me I'm worried about. ;)

I don’t expect you to DO all these things, but it may help you during the transition to know what we do so you know what Moe expects. If you can incorporate any of these things into your routine with him, that’s fantastic. If not, well, at least you know what he’s used to and what he might be trying to tell you!

Outdoor Play
Moe loves to play in the sand – it’s his favourite part of the park. We’ve had some trouble with him throwing sand (less at others, mainly at himself). We tried immediately leaving the park when this happens, but he’s so easy going that he doesn’t mind. So we started doing an in-park time out. This has been pretty effective. We also warn him when we get to the park that we’re going to play nicely and not throw sand, or else he’ll get a time out.

Naptime
Before his nap, which is usually after lunch, Moe is given a sippy of milk. We typically watch a show on Netflix – usually a 15-minute episode of Curious George, which gives him the time to chill out a bit and get prepared for nap time. Then we go upstairs, change his diaper, and put on his naptime music. We cuddle for a minute or two in the rocking chair, (with his soother), and he goes into his crib with his blanket and a stuffie.

Words
Moe doesn’t have many words, and the words he does have, he uses sporadically. He communicates a lot by pointing and a few signs (when he points at something and then moves his hand back and forth, he wants it). I’m hopeful that spending time with other children will help those words come. Could you let us know when there are new words? :) Once we know what's he's said, we can encourage him to say those words again.

Potty
Because we can read his signals fairly well, Moe has been pooping on the potty most days for a month or two now. (Some days we miss the boat entirely, and that’s ok.) I generally know if he needs to go because he looks sort of uncomfortable and often tries to go hide behind something, like his toy garage. Or he kind of grabs at his diaper. We ask him, “Moe, do you need to use the potty?” and he grabs a toy car and heads for the bathroom without a backwards glance. He sits on the toilet on a reducer seat. He likes to look at books while he’s sitting there. (He also LOVES to play with himself. He’ll do it at any opportunity – the bath, the diaper table, the potty. I’ve given up the fight and we don’t discourage it as long as a) he’s not peeing on himself, b) he’s not hurting himself and c) we’re not in the middle of a messy diaper change.) Someone is always sitting by him while he’s on the toilet, and sometimes we hold his hand if he’s struggling with a big poop. We have no plans to take him out of diapers until he can really communicate with words, but the pooping on the potty has been a good experience for both of us! Moe tends to get a bit constipated if we aren’t careful, so when we pick him up, someone will likely ask you if he pooped today. *grin*

Allergies
Moe’s only confirmed allergy is eggs. He gets a rash. He has been able to eat some baked goods that contain eggs, but nothing super moist (like a muffin). Basically, as long as eggs aren’t in the first half of the ingredient list, he’s generally ok. Things to watch out for: egg noodles, pancakes, French toast, moist muffins, sugar cookies, etc.

Self-Feeding
Moe has made huge strides in self-feeding in the last few weeks. He can feed himself spoon-fed stuff like sticky rice dishes, stew, and apple sauce. He's great with a fork for things like melon, broccoli, etc. And, obviously, he's got finger food down pat. We're trying to teach him that if he's done with something he should give the dish to us and not toss the stuff on the floor. (It's a slow process.)

Juice
Moe gets milk twice or three times a day, but other than that he gets water. He doesn’t get juice. I’m aware that we can’t keep this up forever, but I’d like to keep it going as long as we can. If you can keep his sippy filled with water until it becomes a problem (i.e.: he figures it out and asks for juice), that would be great. We really want him to love water and be ok with drinking it when’s he’s thirsty. If you do end up giving him juice, please water it down as much as humanly possible.

Affection
Moe is super affectionate, so please don’t hesitate to stroke his hair and give him little hugs. He’s used to getting lots of affection throughout the day.

Other Stuff
Moe loves pressing buttons, figuring out how things work, and playing with cars and trucks and things with wheels. He loves books and story time. He loves to dance, he loves music and singing. He adores the water – puddles, the water table, hand washing, bath time. We’re trying to teach him to be gentle with plants and animals. He loves to touch flowers, but knows to touch them gently. He’s a crazy mixture of sweetness and affection and seriousness and determination. I hope you fall in love with him, too.