Dear Moe (11 Weeks)

Eleven weeks old, sweetheart! Where is the time going? You have had a great week, little man.

First, I think we've solved the burping issue... or at least, it's getting easier. Grandma suggested that maybe you're a relaxed burper, which means that patting you on the back does nothing. Instead, I just get you to relax and I move your torso around. Sure enough, you burp! You may not be burping as efficiently as you were when we did the back patting, but you are burping more consistently, and that's a good thing, sir. Indeed it is.

You do still get gas pains occasionally, and when you do at night I pop you into your little cot and put you in my bed so I can keep a hand on your belly and replace your soother as quickly as possible. Usually, the hand on the belly helps you work through the gas and once you've done that you go back to your crib without an issue.

(Side note. When we do fold you forward to burp you and pat you on the back, you are so cute. You look just like a little hotei - I want to get you a little bag to carry over your shoulder.)

We get to see you sit up more often now - Aunt Laurie and Uncle Scott got you a lovely red bumbo chair. I've put you in it every day, and for the most part you like it very much. I'm looking forward to when you can hold your own head up and sit in it and play with your toys on the play tray.

So I noticed that you really, really favour one side of your head. You constantly look to the right when you're lying down. As a result, your head is getting a little flat on that side. In an effort to strengthen your neck muscles and fix your little melon, I've been doing stuff to correct it and make you look to the left. I roll a little blanket and pop it under your shoulder and beside your head when you lie down, and I prop you with a blanket roll when you sit in your bouncy chair or the car seat. Hopefully this will help and you'll get used to looking to both sides. (Also, you pin your right ear something fierce.)

Another thing we're doing to get your neck muscles stronger is tummy time, and a lot of it. Until now, we've only really been doing it once a day. Now I aim for three or four times a day if we can swing it. You're getting really good at it, too - it's gratifying to see you getting stronger and lifting your head so well.

(Another side note. I think you have your Daddy's feet, darling. They are wide and thick and adorable. When you start to outgrow a sleeper, it's the feet that get tight first.)

This week we went swimming for the first time! It was wonderful - you really enjoyed it. You smiled and looked generally happy and pleased. We'll go again next week for sure, and now that I've been to the pool and seen how it all works, I'm confident I can take you there on my own. Your Aunt JFlo was nice enough to come with us to help out that first time. I didn't have you in there longer than a couple of minutes - I wanted your first swimming experience to be a good one - but I think we can get away with ten minutes next time. And you look so freaking cute in your little swim diaper.

You met a very special person for the first time this week. Your Aunt Natalie came home from Korea and we surprised her at the airport. She seemed quite taken with you, and you with her. :)

You weighed in at 12 lbs and 1/2 oz this week. A few more ounces and you'll have doubled your birth weight! But I think we may skip the well baby clinic this week, if I don't have any questions to ask the nurses. I'd like to take you to Stars and Strollers and watch a movie with you. We'll see how it goes.

I love the way you look at me, especially when I'm feeding you. You have incredibly intelligent and beautiful eyes. And when those eyes cry real tears, it breaks my heart. I love you so much, little Moe. When you are awake and smiling, it is the best part of my day. And tomorrow when I celebrate my very first Mother's Day - a day I used to dread - I want you to know how much happiness you bring me. I love being your Mommy and I couldn't ask for a more wonderful baby. You're simply a fantastic little creature and you make our lives so bright.

Dear Moe (10 Weeks)

Well, darling, you're definitely in the middle of a growth spurt. You like to feed every two hours during the day, if you can get away with it, and you spent one day last week sleeping like a log. The Muppet suit is getting too small (I went and bought you a couple more - a 6 to 9 month and a 12 month - since we like it so much) and we had to cull a bunch of your littlest onesies.

You have a little girlfriend at the Well Baby Clinic, where you tipped the scales at 11 lbs, 8.5 oz this week. Emily is a few months older than you, and this week you lay side by side with your hands touching. It was very cute. Emily's Mom has been really helpful to me - she convinced me that wearing my engagement ring wasn't a danger to you, suggested the soother brand that I'm comfortable with, and told me where to find sunglasses with the strap on the back so they don't fall off. I bought some at Walmart today - we'll see what you think of them.

The Baby Bjorn is fitting you much better now that you're a bit bigger, and we took a nice long walk with Uncle Dan with you in it. It worked quite well, and my back wasn't sore at all. I've had to adjust your car seat and stroller straps to make room for the bigger version of you. It's wonderful to see you grow, but it's hard to believe you aren't the tiny little guy we first met.

On Monday, I signed up for a free membership with the Ontario Early Years Centre and we attended our first playgroup. You were one of the youngest babies there (we met a little girl who was born four hours later than you!) but we still did circle time, and you managed quite well. I'll see about going back there, especially once we're done with the Well Baby Clinic, which goes to three months.

I'd like to start taking you to Stars and Strollers. There's one on Wednesdays, so we're hoping Daddy can start taking that day off instead of Tuesday and we can go as a family. Daddy and I haven't been to a movie in a long time! Maybe next week.

On Thursday, your Aunt Natalie comes home from Korea and you'll meet her for the very first time. We're quite excited - we've missed her. I know she'll fall in love with you as soon as she sees you, and that you'll love her very much.

You are typically very patient and sweet, even though you have some trouble getting to sleep during the day. You likely don't nap as much as you should, and that may be due to my insistence that we get out every day, but you're not sleeping too badly at night. I'm hoping that once this growth spurt abates you'll go back to giving us 5 hour stretches every so often.

You're smiling more and more - little contented crooked smiles that tell me that you're generally a happy little lad. That makes me happy - I want so much to take good care of you. I hope you're glad that you are a part of this family - we love you so much and wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. When Daddy comes home from work, he says you make everything better. I feel the same way. We love you oodles, darling. Keep being such a wonderful little guy.

Dear Moe (9 Weeks)

Hello, sweet little muffin! You gained 7oz this week, and are doing super well. You're a joy to be around, awake or asleep, and you charm people with your cuteness everywhere we go.

You've developed some skin issues, though - some cradle cap on your eyebrows, and what I think is eczema on your cheeks. It started small, but has spread to both cheeks. It's pretty red and dry, but you don't seem bothered by it. Nonetheless, we'll talk to the doctor about it when we go on Tuesday. (Tuesday is also the day you get your first shots. I'm not especially looking forward to it - it was supposed to be last week, but the doctor had to reschedule.) We have started wiping your face with a wet cloth after every feed. I also bought a sensitive skin laundry detergent and washed all your bedsheets in it, so maybe that will help, too. You come by this honestly - you egg donor has struggled with eczema all her life, and one of her little ones also has chronic skin issues. So it isn't a surprise, but hopefully the doctor can help us make it better. And then I can get back to kissing those cheeks without worry!

I'm pretty sure you're entering another growth spurt this week - yesterday you suddenly became ravenous, throwing our "feeding every three hours" routine out the window. Of course, it took me a while to clue in, so yesterday afternoon I was trying to coax you to poop while you were trying to tell me that yes, it was only an hour after you last ate, but you were starving. Sorry about that, little man. I'll get there.

You are awake more often now, averaging about 1 hour to 75 minute stretches. It's delightful to play with you while you hang out on the change table, and I've started bringing you around the house with me instead of staying in your nursery with me. (It didn't make sense to try and do things with you while you were awake - you'd be asleep in a few minutes and I want you to fall asleep in your crib.)

You're taking more notice of dangling toys, especially Dangle Frog. The other day you were actually reaching out and making him jingle while we were driving! I'm going to start using your bouncy chair more, too, and there are dangly friends on that. You can track a toy that you are interested in, and you are growing more interested in Sophie the Giraffe - especially her very nomable ears.

We've got a pretty good thing going at night - you generally give me a 4 hour stretch, meaning we only get up once a night with you. And generally you get back to sleep pretty well after that middle-of-the-night feeding.

I still take you pretty much everywhere with me. This week alone we've been to O'Grady's for a snack, to Billings to run some errands, to the grocery store, and to Daddy's work to bring him some lunch. We also went to the Well Baby Clinic, and we had a special visitor! Grandma came with us, which was great.

I think you laughed for me this week, darling, and even if you didn't, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. You smile a lot now, and show your joy with your face and eyes. It's really delightful to watch you. You seem like a really happy little guy, which makes me happy.

I'm starting to think about taking you swimming. I bought you a little swim suit for the summer, and I'll get you some Little Swimmers diapers very soon. I'm a little concerned about the chlorine and your sensitive skin, but I'll talk to the doctor about that on Tuesday, too.

I'm excited about our summer together, darling! This is such a special time with you that I want to make it really wonderful for both of us. Let's get ready for all kinds of adventures! I love you so much. But you know that, I tell you so often. :)

Dear Moe (4 Weeks / 1 Month)

Hello, sweetheart. It's hard to believe that you are already one month old. It seems like just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital. You're doing really, really well - nursing like a rock star and generally being adorable at every opportunity.

When I brought you to the Well Baby Clinic this week, they would have been very happy to see you gain between 4 and 6 oz. You had gained 13! So you now tip the scales at 7lbs 13oz, and are outgrowing your clothes at an alarming rate. We've put away your polar bear fleecy sleeper and broken out the 3-6 month duckie version. You look longer and rounder and generally delicious.

You generally seem pretty content, except for about an hour after you eat. Due to your stubborn refusal to burp, you end up with some rather painful gas. I'm not sure what more I can do to get you to burp, short of standing you on your head. (I won't do that, don't worry, sweetie.) Occasionally, I can coax a burp out of you, but it doesn't happen very often. And if I don't, sure enough, an hour later, you are root-toot-tooting along. I have found that giving you a soother during those times helps us both get through them.

In an effort to teach you the difference between night and day, I have you sleep upstairs in your bassinet only at night; otherwise, you're downstairs in your little cot. And I only cover you with a blanket and play soft music at night. Hopefully you'll eventually pick up on these cues and learn that at night, you should be down for the long haul. :)

Your eyes are getting brighter and more alert, and you love looking at the lights. You still get the hiccups about once a day. You make the cutest little faces.

We went out on Wednesday and bought you a stroller, and we got what I think is an awesome one. You and Granny and I took it out for a test drive yesterday, and it went very well. We walked to the community centre and back. Today, we might walk to the bank, except it isn't as warm out as it was yesterday, so we'll see.

You had a very nice week with your Tio and Tia and Cousin Isabel visiting next door. You were held and chattered to and generally showered with love. It was great fun to have them meet you. Everyone fell head over heels in love with you.

The quest for a routine is going well. It's still working pretty well to have us nap in the morning and get out and do things in the afternoon. Mind you, you nap through the afternoon, too. :) You're still sleeping most of the time, but I don't worry because you do wake yourself up to feed.

You're getting better and better at holding your head up for short amounts of time. I think next week, we can start doing some tummy time! I hope you'll grow to like that, my darling.

The most exciting news this week, though, is that tomorrow your Daddy starts four weeks at home with us! He's headed to Boston for five days at the end of next week, but then he's all ours for the three weeks after that. We're both really looking forward to his time off - we'll go on all kinds of adventures together! It's going to be a wonderful, very special time.

Sweetheart, I don't think there are words to tell you how awesome you are. You're sweet and cuddly and adorable and wonderful and we are just loving getting to know you. Keep being such a sweetie, and keep soaking up our love. You're simply amazing.

Dear Moe (3 Weeks)

Wow, you're three weeks old already! You've made some great strides this week, little man. You're now wearing size 1 diapers (graduating from the newborn size), you are nursing like a champ, and for the most part you sleep really well. (You're a bit of a Houdini when it comes to unswaddling yourself, and then you panic and cry because your arms flail involuntarily.)

I brought you to the City of Ottawa Well Baby Clinic on Thursday and you are now 7lbs, which is great. Your face is definitely getting chubbier, too. Your cheeks are ridiculously kissable. You've been strictly on the breast for a few days now - no more bottles for you. You get such bad gas when you drink from a bottle that I think we will all be happier without them for a while yet. I still try and pump once a day, if I can.

Your moments of being alert and awake are increasing, and you are just adorable when you look at us with your sweet little eyes. I've noticed that those eyes are getting better and better at moving together, which is great, too.

We're getting into a semblance of a routine, which is also very good. In the morning, you and I nap together, and then around lunch time at your next nap, I get to take a shower and get a few things done. In the afternoon, we try and do something - whether it's go outside for a walk, have a visit from a friend, got to an appointment, or run an errand. Today we're going to try and go to Canadian Tire to pick up a furnace filter - such is the exciting and cosmopolitan life we lead, little Moe! :)

You are still enjoying your bath, and I'm getting more and more confident about giving them to you. You're due for one today or tomorrow, and I'm not dreading it the way I was that first week. Besides, you smell so good after a bath, and you're all warm and cozy and clean! I just love smelling your head.

Your aunt, uncle and cousin from Toronto are coming to visit this week - it will be really wonderful for them to meet you.

Keep being such a wonderful, sweet and adorable pigeon. We love you so much. I'd tell you to keep growing, but you'll do that anyway, and frankly, you are so lovely and tiny that I wouldn't mind if you stayed this size a while. But you won't, will you? And then we'll love you just as much at the next stage. xoxo

Choices

Right now, it's all about making choices. I have these small windows and I have to choose what to do with them. Do I eat? Do I shower? Do I pump? What about peeing? Do I sleep? Wash those bottles in the sink? Pick up those papers over there? Small windows.

Also, I'm desperately trying to get through a book called The Baby Whisperer, which has lots of tips that will help us, but I haven't had much time to sit around and read. I was counting on a bit more leave time to get organized before his arrival. I find myself saying, "Yes, well, he's three weeks early" a lot. Much like Dante in Clerks, he's not even supposed to be here today.

There are also the (even smaller) windows when he's awake. Do we take this opportunity for a bath? Some tummy time on the floor? A walk outside? Should we do skin to skin? A few people have said I should lay him out in the sun. How am I supposed to do all those things with so few little windows? It's easy to make suggestions, but harder to put them into practice.

But we're both getting the hang of this together, he and I.

My back is still pretty sore, and I'm still taking ibuprofen to help with that and the occasional cramping. I'm going to try and make an appointment for a post-partum massage for Bundy's next day off.

I've managed to shower every day since he's been home, I think. I also try and get a nap in, if possible. We also try and get outside every day. I wish I were doing more skin to skin, but the house is on the chilly side and I haven't been able to time it right with when the sun comes in through the patio doors and hits the couch. Also, there's only so many of those little windows.

But although this isn't easy, it's also amazing and wonderful at the same time. I'm so in love with his little face, his gorgeous eyes, and his increasingly chubby cheeks. I'm learning to watch and listen when he cries instead of just swooping in to pick him up. I will eventually teach him to soothe himself to sleep (see book above - there are two more I need to read on that subject, too, apparently - jeebus), but right now, we're just doing the best we can. And overall, it's going well.

I'm pretty proud of myself, though. In the two weeks since he's been here, I've gotten his birth certificate, his SIN card, and done and filed our taxes. Tomorrow, Bundy is off and we're going on an adventure to Babies R Us to look at strollers. My dad has offered to buy us one, and we need to do some recon.

My to do list is still pretty long, but I'll get through it eventually. After all, he's never going to be this small again. And I want to treasure every minute of this.

Dear Moe (2 Weeks)

Hello, darling. It hasn't been easy to find time to write you letters, but it isn't because I don't care. It's because I'm busy taking care of you! It's hard to believe it's been two weeks already with you in our lives - in some ways, it feels like you've always been here, and in others it all feels very shiny and new.

You've started trying to lift your head, which is adorable to see. You have very strong legs and arms, and your suck is also very powerful! You're a strong little lad, and it is wonderful to watch you try and get stronger.

When we first brought you home, you slept all the time. In fact, it was often a challenge to get you to wake up enough to nurse. You still sleep a lot, but you are able to wake yourself to let us know you are hungry. And sometimes you don't want to fall asleep at all, even though you are very tired. You've had a couple of attacks of gas pains, which have been harrowing on all of us, but are overall a very sweet little guy with a wonderful disposition.

There is also nothing wrong with your ability to poop. Holy cow. There have been a few times where you go through three diapers in one change. Yikes! We call those "thunderpoops".

I try and get outside with you once a day, especially since the weather has been so lovely the last few days. It's been sunny and getting milder. We typically just go for a little walk around the block and check the mail. I'm looking forward to spring being here when we can spend more time outside together. When we go outside, I put you in your wrap. It works well, but I think we'll try the Baby Bjorn soon, as the wrap can make my back kind of sore after a while.

You don't mind the bath, if you can believe it. You wail for a moment when I put you in, but you settle right down very quickly. The bathtub we bought for you is just too big right now, so I've been bathing you in an old roasting pan. It sounds funny, but it's just the right size for you! And it fits on the bathroom counter, so my back doesn't hurt when I bathe you. You're due for a bath today - I hope you still enjoy it.

You are still getting the hang of nursing, but improving every day. You tend to fall asleep at the boob, so I have to pump your arm a little bit or blow gently in your face. (Sorry about that.) We do occasionally give you a bottle - maybe once or twice a day. And I'm still trying to pump a few times a day, too, but it's becoming less crucial since you're nursing so much better.

Your furry brother, as we call him, tends to approach you with a combination of reverence and trepidation. He has given you a head-butt of love once, and tends to meow at us when you are crying, as though he wants to say, "What are you DOING to my baby?" But he has never gotten into your bassinet while you're in it, and generally stays out of it even when you're not.

Daddy's been back at work for a week and a half, but he hurries home in the evening to see you. He's so amazing, Moe. You have no idea how much he loves you. And he takes very good care of us - he sterilizes your bottles and pump attachments, he cooks for us, and he is generally supportive and awesome. Granny has also been here every day, keeping up with the laundry and the dishes, which has been so helpful.

Well, little man, I'm going to sign off. You're sleeping upstairs right now, but I'm not sure how much longer I have before you wake up. Keep growing (but not too fast! you already outgrew the little Pooh hat with ears that you wore in the hospital, and you can't wear your little sleep sack anymore either!) and I hope you can tell how much we love you. I only tell you a few hundred times a day. :)