Choices

Right now, it's all about making choices. I have these small windows and I have to choose what to do with them. Do I eat? Do I shower? Do I pump? What about peeing? Do I sleep? Wash those bottles in the sink? Pick up those papers over there? Small windows.

Also, I'm desperately trying to get through a book called The Baby Whisperer, which has lots of tips that will help us, but I haven't had much time to sit around and read. I was counting on a bit more leave time to get organized before his arrival. I find myself saying, "Yes, well, he's three weeks early" a lot. Much like Dante in Clerks, he's not even supposed to be here today.

There are also the (even smaller) windows when he's awake. Do we take this opportunity for a bath? Some tummy time on the floor? A walk outside? Should we do skin to skin? A few people have said I should lay him out in the sun. How am I supposed to do all those things with so few little windows? It's easy to make suggestions, but harder to put them into practice.

But we're both getting the hang of this together, he and I.

My back is still pretty sore, and I'm still taking ibuprofen to help with that and the occasional cramping. I'm going to try and make an appointment for a post-partum massage for Bundy's next day off.

I've managed to shower every day since he's been home, I think. I also try and get a nap in, if possible. We also try and get outside every day. I wish I were doing more skin to skin, but the house is on the chilly side and I haven't been able to time it right with when the sun comes in through the patio doors and hits the couch. Also, there's only so many of those little windows.

But although this isn't easy, it's also amazing and wonderful at the same time. I'm so in love with his little face, his gorgeous eyes, and his increasingly chubby cheeks. I'm learning to watch and listen when he cries instead of just swooping in to pick him up. I will eventually teach him to soothe himself to sleep (see book above - there are two more I need to read on that subject, too, apparently - jeebus), but right now, we're just doing the best we can. And overall, it's going well.

I'm pretty proud of myself, though. In the two weeks since he's been here, I've gotten his birth certificate, his SIN card, and done and filed our taxes. Tomorrow, Bundy is off and we're going on an adventure to Babies R Us to look at strollers. My dad has offered to buy us one, and we need to do some recon.

My to do list is still pretty long, but I'll get through it eventually. After all, he's never going to be this small again. And I want to treasure every minute of this.