Dear Moe: A note on self-defense

So I was thinking today about all the wonderful aspects of being a mom to a boy. (If the ultrasound had gone the other way, I'd be thinking about all the wonderful aspects of being a mom to a girl.)

And of course I thought about how I'll eventually ask Uncle Ted to teach you how to defend yourself. And how someday we may enroll you in a martial arts class - not just for self-defense, but for the self-discipline that comes with that. Which of course got me thinking about fighting.

So here's the deal.

Don't EVER be the person who throws the first punch - even if someone says something about your mother. But, if someone else starts a fight, I sure want you to be able to finish it.

Having said that, just because someone throws a punch doesn't mean you have to reciprocate. It's about making choices. No matter what the situation, if you throw a punch at someone, there are going to be consequences. If you're in school, you could be suspended. If you're older, there could be a police report and charges laid. At the very least, the person could have a really big friend bent on revenge. There is no participation in a fight that doesn't come with some kind of consequence. Some of those consequences are more obvious than others.

You need to decide - and quickly, often in the split seconds as that fist comes toward your jaw - if your participation is worth the consequence. There will definitely be times that it just isn't worth it. But sometimes it may very well be. Consider why you are fighting, consider what you are fighting for.

It's the decisions that you make in determining whether or not it's worth it that then determine your character.

You may not always make the right decision. But be sure to learn from every decision you make.

Dear Moe (18 weeks)

Even though I still think of you as my little bean, you're actually about the size of a sweet potato. And we're getting to the halfway mark! You're about 6 inches long, and are apparently moving all over the place.

I've felt you move a few times now, and let me tell you, it doesn't get old. I admit, it's a little surreal, but very cool. Yesterday, it was while I was sitting in a meeting and I don't think anyone noticed my face, but I'm sure I looked startled.

My belly is certainly growing now. In fact, I really must start taking some belly photos. I'll try and do that over the weekend. I've gained about 12 lbs or so, which seems to be pretty normal.

Just one more day until we get to see you. I'm so excited - we want to make sure you are healthy and growing well, and we'd love to know if you are a boy or a girl. (Although your Daddy says that if we're told you're a girl, he may keep referring to you as Moe just in case the ultrasound is wrong.)

Your Daddy is still bringing home lots of books for you. He surprised me the other day with all of the Sandra Boynton board books we don't already have. I'm really excited about reading to you, Moe - I want your life to be full of books. At the very least, your house will be! Your Daddy also brought home some of the Mr. Man and Little Miss books.

I've decided on the colour of paint for your bookcase; I just need to hit Home Depot to pick up a can and drop it off at your Aunt JFlo's place. She's currently quarantining herself from us because she may have been exposed to the chicken pox. People are being very careful and considerate of you, Moe - it will be wonderful when you get to meet all the people out here who love you already.

And a lot of them are going to be coming to our house next weekend. (Which is why I'll be cleaning the house like a madwoman THIS weekend.) We've invited people to come and celebrate your existence, but the main purpose of the party is to thank them for their awesome support over the last five years. You've had a lot of people rooting for you for a long time, sweetie - I think it will take just as long (if not longer) for you to understand how much love there is around you, and how wonderful that is. Your Daddy and I are going to make mistakes - I can promise you that. But you'll never want for love.

Dear Moe (17 Weeks)

Hi, Moe. The coolest thing happened last night. I was lying in bed (I've been doing that a lot lately, as I've been pretty sick with a bad cold) and suddenly, I felt you moving. Probably not a big deal for you, since you've been moving for a while, but it was a great big deal for me. I felt you kick me. It was pretty freaking cool. Keep up the great work, and keep letting me know you're there and ok.

This cold has been a real doozy because normally, I'd take some DayQuil or some NyQuil and that would help with the symptoms, but I don't want to take anything that might hurt you. So it's been Halls and Vicks for now. But I think I'm on the mend - the congestion in my chest is breaking up, and I'm not feeling quite as dead to the world as I was before. Also, swallowing doesn't hurt so much that I want to cry. But your Daddy now has a sore throat, and I think it's going to get worse before it gets better.

My coworkers surprised me today and gave me a lovely card with a gift card for Thyme Maternity! This is good news because I really only have two pairs of pants I can wear right now. But all that will change on Tuesday when I pick up my maternity jeans and dress pants from the tailor's - I needed them hemmed. (Don't expect to learn any sewing skills from me, Moe. You'll have to go to Granny for that.)

Can't wait to see you on Thursday of next week, Moe-Moe. I'll make you a deal - I'll drink tea with sugar if you can do your best to not be shy. :)

Dear Moe (16 weeks)

Hello, sweet bean. You're now the size of an avocado! And you're about to embark on a huge growth spurt over the next few weeks. Your ears can apparently pick up the sound of my voice - which boggles my mind like you wouldn't believe - and you are becoming quite playful, turning somersaults and playing with the umbilical cord.

According to Baby Centre, the name of the game for the next four weeks is Vitamin D and calcium. So, Moe, get ready for an onslaught of the following foods: eggs, hummus, almonds, milk, yogurt and cheese. I simply can't do fish - the only fish I like is the fish I'm not allowed to eat, so I'll have to up my egg intake. And, weather willing, I'll try to get outside for half an hour at lunch time to soak up some Vitamin D the fun way.

Granny brought back a car load of stuff from your aunt and uncle in Toronto, so we now have a high chair and a playpen for you, among other things. We've been having fun filling out your baby registry and planning your nursery. I bought you a lamp the other day - it is perfect for the nursery, and it was being discontinued, so I jumped at the chance. It feels really wonderful to be able to buy things for you - there is still a cloud of fear that hangs over me, but not like it did in the first trimester. I suspect that cloud of fear for your safety might just be there for the rest of your life. ;) But don't worry, Moe, I won't let myself be ruled by it.

It's pretty amazing how I can love someone I've never even met, but I do. Moe, your very existence makes me so happy. I'm looking forward to feeling you move in the next couple of weeks, and your Daddy and I are both looking forward to the ultrasound in early October. Please don't be shy - we'd love to know if you are a girl or a boy!

Dear Moe (Bonus)

Please get off my bladder. Mommy would like to get some work done today.

Hugs and kisses.

Invitation for October 17

Bundy and I would like to invite you to a party on Saturday, October 17, in honour of all the wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive of us in our ongoing journey toward parenthood.

We have been so fortunate to have so many people keeping the faith and crossing their fingers for us - we'd like to thank you with some Bundy-cooked food and good cheer.

We would be honoured if you would attend. Children are welcome - feel free to bring outdoor toys for them, as we have a nice stretch of parkland behind our house.

Things will get underway around 2pm - please feel free to drop by for a visit of whatever length of time works best for you.

However, we'd really appreciate it if you could let us know if you plan on coming. This will help Bundy determine how much food and beverage to have on hand. :)

Dear Moe (Week 13)

Hey, there, little bean. You're about 3 inches long from crown to rump, about the size of a peach. Peachy keen, indeed, little jellybean!

We met Dr. P. yesterday for our first appointment, and we both feel that you're in very good hands. He answered all our questions and provided us with tons of information. AND... a prescription for diclectin.

I took the first pill yesterday around 6pm. It made me super drowsy - I could barely keep my eyes open - but sure enough, this morning the nausea is much, much better. Strangely, though, this morning I gagged on my pills (the small ones - not even the prenatal vitamin!) and vomited for the first time since becoming pregnant. Huh. I'm chalking it up to a fluke. But I feel great this morning, and I don't have an icky taste in my mouth. I haven't taken another this morning because I was worried about being so drowsy at work, but I have them with me, so we'll see how it goes.

~*~

Moe, you'll eventually meet Solly. He's my pharmacist, and he has been filling all my prescriptions for years and years. Although we've never talked about infertility, he knows as much of my story as you can by filling prescriptions for fertility medication. And he knows how long we've been waiting for you. Solly is a man of few words - he's a tall, deep-voiced East Indian man, and I figure he's likely in his 50s now.

I handed him the prescription for diclectin, and he read it over and nodded at me.

"Congratulations," he said, nodding.

"Thank you... I've been waiting a long time to give you a prescription like this," I smiled.

He nodded some more. "I've been waiting a long time to fill one like this for you." And he turned away and went to work on it.

~*~

At the doctor's appointment yesterday, they took my blood pressure and my measurements and were pleased with both. I did a bunch of blood work, and I go back next week for the IPS ultrasound. In the meantime, we got to hear your heart beating. It was amazing.

One thing your Daddy noticed was that the sounds made on that dopplar machine are very similar to the sounds the aliens made on the baby monitor in the movie Signs. Minus the eerie clicking. Crazy.

So we have the ultrasound on Sept 8, and then another one in early October. Your Daddy will be there for that one, for sure. We're really looking forward to seeing you! And hopefully, you'll let us know if you are a boy or a girl. :)