Dear Baby, Week 5

I'm not quite clear why they consider this week 5, when you were technically only conceived three weeks ago, but anything that brings me closer to week 12 is fine in my book.

Apparently, you're in the middle of your very first growth spurt. You look like a tadpole, but you are sprouting tiny buds that will eventually become your limbs. Your vital organs are in place and growing.

I marvel at this, as you really haven't become real to me yet. It seems like you are still this imaginary being out there in the ether. We've been trying for so long to create a vessel for you, it seems crazy to think there actually is one. But there is. And you're amazing.

Your Daddy and I found out you were coming a few days ago, and we've both been staring at each other in delighted awe ever since. My first words when I found out were "SHUT UP!", which I admit don't seem great for posterity, but I just couldn't believe it. We'd both convinced ourselves that you wouldn't be coming at all - we were so afraid of the disappointment.

Your Daddy did what your Daddy does, and pulled a movie quote out of his butt. He exclaimed, in the Brownie voice from Willow, "We have a baby! We stole it from OWD while she was taking a peepee!"

And Baby, people are just so happy to hear that you're coming. Your Grandma cried, your Granny jumped up and down. Your Grandpa Will was driving, and had to pull the car over. And your Pépère Leo just laughed in delight. And we have this wonderful circle of friends who love us who have been wishing and praying and hoping that you would come along. I think it's safe to say, Baby, that not many babies could possibly be more wanted and more hoped for than you.

I can barely believe it, but I love you already. But then, I've loved you for years.

Finally Here

We are at a place we never thought we'd get to: the starting gate.

I'm pregnant.

Our next step is an ultrasound on July 21 to confirm that the pregnancy is viable, and also to let us know if we're pregnant with one baby or two.

Thank you all so much for your good vibes and crossed fingers. Please keep everything crossed for a few more months. :)

Over the Moon

We got some amazing news yesterday - I'm pregnant. I had pretty much convinced myself that I wasn't, and was steeling myself for that news. Everyone at the OFC is delighted - Denise and Dr. G. were laughing and hugging.

I'm a little terrified to be happy. It doesn't seem real. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Next step is a week 6 ultrasound, which will also check for fetal heart rate. So that's the next hurdle. I think that may also determine exactly how many babies we're looking at. *grin*

It felt wonderful to go to Chapters yesterday and buy a book of pregnancy dos and don'ts. I felt like screaming the news from the rooftops. But at the same time, it's been really nice to have a secret just between me and Bundy. We are the only ones who know right now, and that feels pretty special.

One More Sleep

The wait has been slightly more difficult ever since I figured out that I haven't actually taken any drugs that could result in a false positive on a pregnancy test. OWD has (note to OWD - don't do a pregnancy test, it'll be a false positive), but I have not. So I could actually do one.

Why won't I?

Well, for one thing, we have a plan that will allow us to find out the news together, at a specific time and place, and delivered to us by someone who can support us if needed.

Also, I'm a little bit terrified.

But whatever happens, I won't regret the last two weeks. It has been wonderful to think that I really could be pregnant. I've never been so happy to give up things I enjoy - like caffeine, alcohol and aspartame. It has been just amazing to think of what could be happening to my body. And even if I'm not pregnant, no one can take away these past two weeks. They've been a treasure.

Also, it's been great to lie in the sun with my eyes closed, and picture myself soaking up all the good wishes and love and happy vibes that people have been sending our way. So if you've been sending them, I've been receiving them.

But yeah. Terrified.

Three More Sleeps

Today's plan for distraction includes watching the new episode of True Blood on TMN on Demand, and trying not to pig out. Yesterday I had chips for dinner. (Caveat - I actually had a very balanced day, diet-wise. Lots of fruits and veggies, some dairy. But also, chips for dinner.) Chips for dinner + limited activity = I've gained a few pounds. *shrug* I can't stress about it - it's for a good cause, and I'll work it off when I can exercise again.

(Aside - the PC General's Tao Chicken chips are really tasty. Almost as good as the Szechwan.)

I did let myself walk as far as the Glebe yesterday. (But that's only just over 3 km, and I've gotten used to doing between 8 km and 10 km.)

Kept busy yesterday by cleaning the kitchen and reading. Went to bed early.

In other news, I will NOT pee on a stick today.

Jun 29, 2009

 Four more sleeps.

June 26, 2009

Day 10 of progesterone injections and the drugs are once again kicking my ass. Just got hit with a sudden wave of "really, really tired".

Also? My bum hurts.

But I continue to toaster on! Seven sleeps until the blood test. I'm getting there.